These are retorical questions - you don't have to convince me. I'm accountable to God to ask you these questions. He knows the truth of your heart and it is His desire that you live in surrender and by the strength of His Holy Spirit, take the steps in the direction that He's calling you to! He is accepting you just the way you are - but He's not willing to let you live the spiritual life as a pauper - when you are indeed a child of the King. Accept it. It's yours because you believe. You do not control it - you simply live in it!
You may not see an immediate change in your physical circumstances. God desires that our surrender comes authentically in our current circumstances - then, as we trust Him to guide us and direct us, He either makes sense of our current physical circumstances OR our obedience "relieves" us of those circumstances - but we often graduate to a new set of physical circumstances that, once again challenge us, and at a whole new level. As we grow and change spiritually, there comes a peace that passes understanding - in the middle of the circumstances - not inspite of OR because of those circumstances.
The apostle Paul said this:
"I know how to be abased and live humbly in straitened circumstances, and I know also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance. I have learned in any and all circumstances the secret of facing every situation, whether well-fed or going hungry, having a sufficiency and enough to spare or going without and being in want." (Phil 4:12 AMP)
It's our spiritual maturity that affords us the luxury of being content. Contentment is a luxury, because when we are content, our mind is "at ease." I can't think of a better place to live!
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