Marinating in humility

I've been thinking a lot about humility. As it pertains to my daily life situations. As it applies to my responses in life. As I evaluate myself and the advice I give to others. It's a concept that I've previously misunderstood, and as I study, seeking a greater knowledge for the things of God, it's become a recurrent theme.

Months ago, the Holy Spirit began to address my personal pride, as it was a spiritual issue. The interesting thing about that pride, was that it was the source of my perceived protection. In other words, I had been hurt (many times) and the main ingredient of the mortar of my "wall of protection" was pride. As you may relate to, I didn't want to get hurt, so my pervasive attitude became, "I know how to protect myself and I will do whatever it takes to keep from getting hurt." The root of that attitude is spiritual pride. It indicates that I know better what should happen to me than God and I will manage those experiences, not trusting in God.

Mind you, hindsight is 20/20 and I didn't recognize this as my pervasive attitude in the middle of my prideful behavior. It wasn't until I had come to a place of desiring full surrender to God that this became evident to my mind. This evidence was presented to me a couple of ways.

The first was through suffering. Really! Yes I was living to avoid pain, all the while, God was working in my life, providing lots of opportunity for me to see that all of this was bigger than I am and out of my control. He orchestrated a wonderful chain of events that completely eliminated my ability to exercise any control over my life, and eventually I had to come to the end of myself. This was the beginning of changing the way I think, in regards to pride.

I began to recognize the nature of sinful pride. Author and Bible teacher Beth Moore states it concisely in her book, Praying God's Word, in the chapter, Overcoming Pride.

"Perhaps no other spiritual obstacle is quite like this one. Why? Because the challenge to overcome pride may be the only common denominator on every one of our spiritual "to do" lists. A simple reason exists for its Goliath proportions: pride is Satan's specialty. It is the characteristic that most aptly describes him. Pride is the issue that had him expelled from heaven. It is still one of Satan's most successful tools in discouraging people from accepting the gospel of Jesus Christ. Let's not fool ourselves into thinking that pride is a problem only for the lost. The most effective means the enemy has to keep believers from being full of the Spirit is to keep us full of ourselves. No wonder the Bible states and restates that God hates pride. It is the enemy of genuine ministry. It is the end of many homes."

In my prideful thinking, I thought that I had control over the circumstances of life and the way they effected me. What I learned through my season of suffering was that control of external circumstances is really a mere illusion. I even need the help of the Holy Spirit to exercise self control. What a happy day it was when I came to realize that! I also found that God's word tells us the pattern of suffering I experienced is not limited to me! Daniel 4:37 tells us that, "Those who walk in pride he is able to humble." Our faithful God will go to great links to provide us opportunity to be humble.

Which brings me to the second evidence. I learned that my prideful thinking was leading me to a separating relationship with God. I had no intimacy or fellowship, even though I attended church and was outwardly serving him to the best of my understanding. Pride had a two fold effect: it created a chasm, not just in my relationship to God, but in my relationships with others and, it provided me with "far-sighted vision" that eluded me to the reality of the distance.

As I've taken time to address the thinking, I've come to the place that I realize that every word, action and deed must be marinated in humility. It's not that I don't recognize that God has given me gifts, but it's realizing that those gifts will be most effective if they are operated under his control. In every situation, admitting that I don't need to understand the outcome to live in obedience. Humility is actually far more empowering that spiritual pride ever was. There's a freedom in releasing yourself from being ultimately responsible for everything that happens to you. There's a sweetness in a close relationship with God that comes from total surrender and fully trusting him.

I'll leave you with these closing words, again from Beth Moore's book and the chapter on Overcoming Pride:

My name is Pride, I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God-given destiny...because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment...because you "deserve better than this."
I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing...because you're too full of me to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to admit when you're wrong.
I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship...because nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love...because real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven...because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.
I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince you to seek you own.
My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue.
I'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...
If you stick with me
You'll never know.