Under conviction

I've spent a better portion of my life living under the presumption of, "I can fix that." It's been a driving force in my life that has often proven true. Using the gifts God has given me, I've been able to work in various areas with various people and "fixed" a lot of things. But this was something I was doing in my own strength.

God made the revelation of this clear, almost two years ago. It's a difficult and tumultious situation where I am constrained [to force by imposed stricture, restriction, or limitation] to not fix a very major problem in my life. The constrait has been clearly initiated by God and I, to no personal credit, have lived, somewhat, in agreement. This constaint has been one of the most clearly defined lessons regarding surrender. It's been the microcausim of pain and suffering, specifically with this issue that's brought me to the depth of understanding about the value of surrender.

So why do I have mornings when I wake up and the first thing on my mind, "I can fix that"? Why do I continue to think that the anwers lies somewhere inside of me? I know without a doubt that I CAN NOT fix it. All I can do is contribute to it, for positive or negative outcomes.

I think the thoughts come from wanting to escape the pain. From believing that eliminating the source of pain will bring us to healthy, wholeness. When, in fact, it might very well be that the pain is going to be what brings us into wholeness.

Lord, please help me to recognize that these troubles are light and momentary afflictions. Help me dear Lord, to get my mind around the your goodness that last forever! To live with a clear understanding of what any present suffering means to your kingdom and your will for me and those in my area of influence. Keep me from giving into the temptation of making decisions that are only flavored with the thoughts of this moment. There's too much at stake here to let that happen!

SHALOM

I was reading a book this week (one of the luxuries I have right now - not working and all). It's called "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell - VERY good! Anyway he was talking about our notion of "peace," especially in light of the term "Shalom." He's explained that in the Hebrew language, words are layers with many facets of meanings. So one word, in it's context can contain a depth of meaning that might take a paragraph for us to explain. I've been thinking about that word "peace" and how we understand it as an absence of conflict.

But the Hebraic understanding of shalom is far more than that. Shalom is the presence of the goodness of God. It's the presence of wholeness and completeness.

that almost blows my mind

God puts us little light bearers - those of us that know Him AND are known by Him - into these complicated, frustrating, volitale, gut wrenching situations.

and if you're anything like me - you just want to solve it and MOVE ON!

but for all of our abilities and knowledge and good desires - we can't see a solution. we can't force a solution. all we can do is sit in the situation and pray and wait and listen and wait and be obedient and wait - until we're just so sick of waiting - that finally we admit, sometimes outloud, "I just can't do it, I don't have it in me, I can not bring peace (no conflict) to this situation." and we surrender - waving our little white flag

then God shows up. sometimes He even comes through us. but not through the things we thought it would be. no, it's usually not in our abilities or knowledge or good desires. it's in the parts that we really thought should stay hidden. in the weakness of our human soul.

and He shows himself strong. He really didn't need us to bring the peace to the situation. what He wanted was for us to be there when SHALOM arrived. and the goodness of God rains down on the entire situation - getting all over all of us - and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we are all made whole and complete. not in spite of the conflict - but becuase of it!

May SHALOM enter your domain today!

Rain + Dirt = Mud

We have a little picture in one of our bathrooms. It's a Mary Engelbreit - so it's cute and happy. It's one of her little girls next to a corn field, up to her knees in mud, mud on her face and hands - and it says, "Don't pray for rain if you're not willing to deal with a little mud." That one little picture has brought me so much comfort. I know that I prayed and asked God, believing that He was ready and willing to answer my prayer, to heal Rachael and help her live in the light of reality and not in the fantasy world she had created.

We often think that when God works He does it quickly and with a nice neat bow to tie it all together. And that may very well be His desire. But more often than not, we humans get our free will into it and really make a mess of it. So, as the last year or so has been filled with the yuck of mud - many days, I've been able to thank God for the work that He has been doing. Some days, don't have the reality of rain in them and they're actually hot and humid, and I wonder if I was CRAZY for asking for rain in the first place. So, if we really are in those moments when the sun is starting to peak through, then we can trust that there will be some fruit to go with this mud, and the difficulties of the storm will be worth it all. Not because of our understanding, but because of HIS faithfulness. How blessed we are! Surrender to His will and obedience to His plan are the keys!

Spiritual Warfare Matrix

Have you ever seen a picture of something that just simply explained seemingly complex and just stared at it? Well that's what I've been doing with this Spritual Warfare Matrix all day.

The one you see, will not allow you to get the full effect, you'll have to click on the picture to link to the interactive site. Which I HIGHLY recommend - and will stop talking now, so you can do just that. Go ahead - click on the picture! I've never seen anything like it, and I'm betting you haven't either!

The Source (part 2)

I was recently on a shopping trip for one of my husband's "home improvement" adventures, replacing the dishwasher. I eagerly went into a store that I normally don't enter, to find items that don't really don't seem like they would have any significant value. On my list was a "pigtail," 3/8" nut connector, and a 4' hot water supply hose. I was confident that this would be a snap. I couldn't be anymore wrong!

The supply hose was easy enough to find, they just didn't have the right length. The pigtail was semi-easy to find, they just didn't have the one described by my husband for this project and the 3/8" nut connector was, well - almost impossible. So much for my confidence - surely an employee could help me. (Since I got help, I have someone to blame for this mishap.)

I'm not an electrician, I like electricity, just don't have much knowledge about the details of how it works. I have a healthy respect for the stuff, but don't count me in for the re-wiring of the house, for crying out loud. So, when the "boy" at the home improvement store starts substituting some pretty yellow wire and a little things that plugs into the wall for the pigtail, I'm game. (Now don't go giving your comments about how I should have known better - I've given my disclaimer!)

Let's just say, it was NO substitute. Don't send a girl to do a man's shopping! Not only would my purchase not work, but it couldn't be returned (who knew?) So I had wasted time and money to end up with nothing useful - for this project at least!

Here's my thought process. I had what I considered "all the parts necessary" to complete the job. What I was lacking was a healthy understanding of what was really needed.

In the last post, I was asking myself, and you about how I could have such a keen understanding of the Biblical principles, but remain "dimly lit." John 14:15-31 gives a clear description of the power that picks up right at the foot of the Cross. Here's what verse 26 says in the Amplified version of the Bible:

But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you.

My husband is a patient man (he's married to me, isn't he?!) He did an excellent job providing me with the list, I even had pretty pictures from the installation sheet. What I did not have is the experience to know if a substitution could be made, or how the items on my list were relevant to the overall job. And this is a simple home improvement project.

How much more do we need help when it comes to the application of Biblical principles? Our lack of real experience in the spiritual realm, makes us very dimly lit. We attempt to substitute things (behaviors, actions, attitudes) for real understanding. Like the blind leading the blind, we rely on the advice of others, who are no more connected to the source than we are.

Don't get me wrong, I was a believer. I had the security of salvation and eternity in heaven. What I didn't have was the power to live in a whole, healthy, clean relationship with God. That came when I decided to acknowledge, fully, that I needed some additional help and I was provided with the promised, Holy Spirit.

The key here is surrender. So long as I was willing to think that I had an answer, or an understanding, I was dimly lit and on my own. I have no more of an idea about living out my life in light of the Bible as I know about electricity. The moment I honestly acknowledged that, a surge of power ignited me and my spirit was so illuminated that it almost scared me. I'm getting used to this illumination and I make a daily decision to stay surrendered.

A power source is available to us that will connect us to an abundance of everything we need to live a peace filled, joyful life. That source is available to us, only on the terms set out by God. We can't negotiate it, provide a substitute, or reason our way around it. The cross paid the price, our full surrender keeps us connected.

Grace and Peace to you. Let go and let God! He's waiting to fill you with Himself and all the power you need to face your life!