Not by Nature

I've just spent the last couple of weeks doing childcare for two five year olds and a newborn. It was an interesting time of reflection. I spent several hours each day caring for the detailed needs of the baby and instructing the five year olds to operate under detailed instructions, as they were often capable of caring for many of the their own needs. This experience brought me several opportunities for the Holy Spirit to address the nature that I have developed and the spirit in which I respond to His instructions and corrections.

This morning, I came back to Psalm 131 and it captures my new insights wonderfully, especially when read from the Message translation:

"1 God, I'm not trying to rule the roost, I don't want to be king of the mountain.
I haven't meddled where I have no business
or fantasized grandiose plans.

2 I've kept my feet on the ground,
I've cultivated a quiet heart.
Like a baby content in its mother's arms,
my soul is a baby content.

3 Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope.
Hope now; hope always!"

My New King James Bible says that this Psalm is about "simple trust in the Lord." We long for peace, but we want to accomplish the outcome of our lives on our own. Our choices make us struggle and push us into areas that are really none of our business - causing us much heartache.

This was abundantly apparent as I had to referee the "fairness" component of our activities. Any mother whose had more than one child knows what I'm talking about. "He got to do it last time - that's not fair." "She won't let me have it and it's mine - that's not fair." I hear it in my spirit all the time. "She has this or he's doing that. I have to be here and experience this "thing" - that's not fair." Just in the thought, I place myself squarely into the middle of someone else's business.

By contrast, the baby didn't even have a care for what anyone else was doing. Unless her need was unmet, she rested contentedly, completely unaware of any perceived unfairness. Her wants were her needs and she trusted that those would be met by the care taker at her slightest whimper. And she was right.

My nature isn't contentment. I often look around at others. When I do, I sometimes thrust myself into a position that creates a separate distinction for wants and needs. And then I make demands about my wants that lead me away from the goodness that God has given to me and my little corner of contentment and peace.

Forgive me Lord for not trusting you. You are the Great Provider and in you I find all that I need. You are my hope and my resting place. It is in you that I put my trust and find my contentment. I will cultivate a quiet heart that simply seeks you. You are all I need. AMEN