Monday, November 24, 2008
And so it begins...
On Monday, December 1st, I will begin an educational journey. I've been waiting for doors to open for this adventure for the better part of 2 years, and it's a surreal and copious moment to experience. The current destination is a Bible & Theology major, with a Biblical Languages minor...although I have to take the languages section here locally, as they don't offer that online. I'm completing my course study with the online program through the Nazarene Bible College. I've found all the staff I've worked with to be tremendously helpful and recommend them to everyone! This should be an interesting adventure!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Needing each other
God's Word has some resounding themes. One of them is community. First is the Triune example of perfect community. The perfect give and take of perfect love. Just to contemplate the goodness of the Trinity gives warmth to my soul. I often long for a mere taste of perfect relationship.
I'm astounded at how tricky it can be for us to maintain relationships. I've spoken previously of the ongoing need to practice forgiveness when interacting with our brothers and sisters in our spiritual community. Today, I'm interested in talking more personally. I've been thinking about the obstacles in me that keep me from interacting wholly and wrecklessly in these relationships.
The first thing that jumps out at me is my rebellious nature....and before you agree too quickly, remember, you have one too! It's what's been wrong since Lucifer was kicked out of heaven and Adam & Eve partook in the Garden. Plain and simple we want what we think to be "right." We're polluted plain and simple. I am wrong. Often, not only am I wrong, but I refuse to be submitted to or measured by Truth. I find myself to be unwilling to yield to the work of the Holy Spirit, often using the excuse that He's used another of His broken vessels to deliver the message. Truthfully, it's not the vessel of delivery in question, it's the attitude of my heart!
I'm growing to understand that my innately rebellious spirit is as much of the problem in experiencing God inspired and ordained relationship as anything that might exist outside of me!
In her book study, "Breaking Free," Beth Moore suggests some characteristics of the rebellious child of God:
I wonder what you'd find if you asked the Spirit to do a check for rebellious reactions & motivations. I wonder if you'd be willing to yield in obedience to the work He's wanting to accomplish in your life, through those relationships that seem most unlikely. Can you hear His whisper?
I'm astounded at how tricky it can be for us to maintain relationships. I've spoken previously of the ongoing need to practice forgiveness when interacting with our brothers and sisters in our spiritual community. Today, I'm interested in talking more personally. I've been thinking about the obstacles in me that keep me from interacting wholly and wrecklessly in these relationships.
The first thing that jumps out at me is my rebellious nature....and before you agree too quickly, remember, you have one too! It's what's been wrong since Lucifer was kicked out of heaven and Adam & Eve partook in the Garden. Plain and simple we want what we think to be "right." We're polluted plain and simple. I am wrong. Often, not only am I wrong, but I refuse to be submitted to or measured by Truth. I find myself to be unwilling to yield to the work of the Holy Spirit, often using the excuse that He's used another of His broken vessels to deliver the message. Truthfully, it's not the vessel of delivery in question, it's the attitude of my heart!
I'm growing to understand that my innately rebellious spirit is as much of the problem in experiencing God inspired and ordained relationship as anything that might exist outside of me!
In her book study, "Breaking Free," Beth Moore suggests some characteristics of the rebellious child of God:
- They don't act like a child of God (not perfect behavior, but you know in your heart that things aren't what you make them seem!)
- They aren't willing to listen to the Lord's instruction (if we ignore God because we don't what to be corrected, redirected or challenged to change - that's rebellion)
- They prefer pleasant illusions over truth (do you only listen to the things that you want to hear? can you get beyond flattering talk?)
- They rely on oppression (I hear the voice of the victim here...always a victim, never an overcomer)
- They depend on deceit (a most dangerous place, we must line all beliefs up with scripture!)
- They run from real answers (simple conclution to everything else presented)
I wonder what you'd find if you asked the Spirit to do a check for rebellious reactions & motivations. I wonder if you'd be willing to yield in obedience to the work He's wanting to accomplish in your life, through those relationships that seem most unlikely. Can you hear His whisper?
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Just a Thought (10/30/08)
http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/08/20/the-shack/
I was drawn to the "Been Thinking About" blog, hosted Mart De Haan. The entry I noted above, is the one today's thought comes from. He was commenting on the best selling novel, "The Shack."
Today's thought is this, "In disappointment, you either become softer towards God or bolder in your independence." There's really no gray area in this. In addition, only you and God can truly know if you're becoming softer or bolder. Although I often find myself vacillating between the two places. We are so good with the art of Human Doing that we can mask the truth of our soul to others, and some (I include myself in this) can be very good at denying the souls state of affairs even to ourselves.
Though I never actually read the book, discussions with others have formed my understanding that the crux of the book is all about releasing our ideas about God and His ways and allowing Him to enter into relationship with us on His terms. I wonder how this relationship would change from my perspective if I were to allow my disappointments to make me softer towards God. Interesting thought!
I was drawn to the "Been Thinking About" blog, hosted Mart De Haan. The entry I noted above, is the one today's thought comes from. He was commenting on the best selling novel, "The Shack."
Today's thought is this, "In disappointment, you either become softer towards God or bolder in your independence." There's really no gray area in this. In addition, only you and God can truly know if you're becoming softer or bolder. Although I often find myself vacillating between the two places. We are so good with the art of Human Doing that we can mask the truth of our soul to others, and some (I include myself in this) can be very good at denying the souls state of affairs even to ourselves.
Though I never actually read the book, discussions with others have formed my understanding that the crux of the book is all about releasing our ideas about God and His ways and allowing Him to enter into relationship with us on His terms. I wonder how this relationship would change from my perspective if I were to allow my disappointments to make me softer towards God. Interesting thought!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Ponderings - Essence of Spiritual Community
“Forgiveness and celebration are at the heart of community. These are the two faces of love…Community can never take precedence over individuals. In fact, its beauty and unity come from the radiance of each individual conscience, in it’s light, truth, and love, and free union with others.” – Jean Vanier
So, if forgiveness is a key ingredient to spiritual community, far more is love. And I’m not talking about that fickle self-serving capacity that I can drum up on my own. I’m talking about the kind of love that can only come from reckless abandonment to the invitation of the Trinity to dance with them in perichoresis.
I really liked watching the television program, “Dancing with the Stars” for about the first two seasons. It felt about as real as reality TV can get. The challenge was for award winning, championship ballroom dancers to take accomplished (but kind of “washed up” or not so well known) stars and athletes and, over the course of a season, train them into bona fide ballroom dancers. I liked the first couple of seasons because no one knew if the show would be successful and they really gave a lot of background on the dancers and the competitors. There wasn’t a lot of “Hollywood” spin in it.
In the early weeks of the competition, they would show outtakes of each of the couples in the competition and their intense practice sessions. There were many mess ups, including missed cues and stepping on toes. Feelings were intense and expressions from both the teacher and the student were sometimes less than desirable. But they appeared to always be honest, even when there were personality differences, which were very apparent in the early days of the season. They had to be honest, it was the only way to effectively accomplish the goal, which was winning the competition.
I often wondered why, besides money and potential fame or notoriety, one would agree to attempt this sometimes humiliating feat. And it came to me, it’s all about love. Dance is a physical expression of inward passion. Seasoned professionals become willing to risk their reputation and quite possibly their livelihood by gambling on their ability to shape inexperienced and naïve wannabees because of their love of the dance. I heard them say over and over, “we’re just out here having a good time.” And the further one got in the competition, the more passionately they said it. Regardless of what the judges might have to say or the way the actual performance turned out! The champions infused their love of the dance into each practice session, and the students caught a glimpse of what they were capable of, releasing their energy into the competition. It was truly amazing to watch the students blossom.
Love in the spiritual community is a lot like this. One becomes a “champion” first by being in relationship with the One True Champion. We enter the dance of the Trinity and find ourselves there, and only there, truly fulfilled. We bumble along, sometimes not so attractively, but eventually find our footing and we grow radiantly smooth! Pretty soon, someone notices the beauty of the dance in us and they want to join. It’s in the safety of this relationship, in the knowing and being known in a perichoretic relationship with God, that we are able to offer ourselves in a dance with someone else and release the passion that has been building up in us.
The Word says that, “perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18.) Make no mistake, there are many things that will be concerning. What if someone takes advantage? Someone might get hurt. I might look like a fool. What will people think? Will they deserve the kind of love and forgiveness that spiritual community requires? I have more questions than answers. But for each question that I bring to the Trinity, I find that there’s a sufficiency in the specific answer for each situation. No broad applications like a “how to” manual, just very specific direction that makes each step of the dance more valuable and beautiful.
Just enough light for the step I’m on as I journey with those who see something beautiful happening in me. And the freedom to be real powerful when bridled by the strong and mighty hand of God!
So, if forgiveness is a key ingredient to spiritual community, far more is love. And I’m not talking about that fickle self-serving capacity that I can drum up on my own. I’m talking about the kind of love that can only come from reckless abandonment to the invitation of the Trinity to dance with them in perichoresis.
I really liked watching the television program, “Dancing with the Stars” for about the first two seasons. It felt about as real as reality TV can get. The challenge was for award winning, championship ballroom dancers to take accomplished (but kind of “washed up” or not so well known) stars and athletes and, over the course of a season, train them into bona fide ballroom dancers. I liked the first couple of seasons because no one knew if the show would be successful and they really gave a lot of background on the dancers and the competitors. There wasn’t a lot of “Hollywood” spin in it.
In the early weeks of the competition, they would show outtakes of each of the couples in the competition and their intense practice sessions. There were many mess ups, including missed cues and stepping on toes. Feelings were intense and expressions from both the teacher and the student were sometimes less than desirable. But they appeared to always be honest, even when there were personality differences, which were very apparent in the early days of the season. They had to be honest, it was the only way to effectively accomplish the goal, which was winning the competition.
I often wondered why, besides money and potential fame or notoriety, one would agree to attempt this sometimes humiliating feat. And it came to me, it’s all about love. Dance is a physical expression of inward passion. Seasoned professionals become willing to risk their reputation and quite possibly their livelihood by gambling on their ability to shape inexperienced and naïve wannabees because of their love of the dance. I heard them say over and over, “we’re just out here having a good time.” And the further one got in the competition, the more passionately they said it. Regardless of what the judges might have to say or the way the actual performance turned out! The champions infused their love of the dance into each practice session, and the students caught a glimpse of what they were capable of, releasing their energy into the competition. It was truly amazing to watch the students blossom.
Love in the spiritual community is a lot like this. One becomes a “champion” first by being in relationship with the One True Champion. We enter the dance of the Trinity and find ourselves there, and only there, truly fulfilled. We bumble along, sometimes not so attractively, but eventually find our footing and we grow radiantly smooth! Pretty soon, someone notices the beauty of the dance in us and they want to join. It’s in the safety of this relationship, in the knowing and being known in a perichoretic relationship with God, that we are able to offer ourselves in a dance with someone else and release the passion that has been building up in us.
The Word says that, “perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18.) Make no mistake, there are many things that will be concerning. What if someone takes advantage? Someone might get hurt. I might look like a fool. What will people think? Will they deserve the kind of love and forgiveness that spiritual community requires? I have more questions than answers. But for each question that I bring to the Trinity, I find that there’s a sufficiency in the specific answer for each situation. No broad applications like a “how to” manual, just very specific direction that makes each step of the dance more valuable and beautiful.
Just enough light for the step I’m on as I journey with those who see something beautiful happening in me. And the freedom to be real powerful when bridled by the strong and mighty hand of God!
Ponderings - Perichoretic Community of the Triune God
So, I'm beginning to get some of the thoughts that started to form at the School of Spiritual Direction out of my head and onto "paper." Some of this is simply repeating what I heard from Larry and some of it is the formation of my own thoughts and opinions as the Spirit leads. This is open for discussion, although these first few entries will be from emails that I've sent to the ministry Trustees of Just a Girl Ministries, as we prepare for our annual spiritual retreat coming up in a little more than a week.
SSD #28 Friends, please chime in!
SSD #28 Friends, please chime in!
Contemplation towards retreat #14
As I've thought about the perichoretic (http://www.theopedia.com/Perichoresis) relationship of the Trinity and God's desire to relate to us in perfect community, and
thereby stirring up in us the desire to relate to others in this same way, these thoughts have surface.
The sense of community comes from a stirred up desire to be with someone. It's a unique desire to be one with another. Most easily demonstrated in the positive exchage of a sexual relationship. What is it about the coming together in the sexual union that creates a oneness? There's a vulnerability, a surrender, an openness that
indicates give and take. Healthy, biblical sexual relationships are welcoming to
the participants. There is safety for the participants and the ability to be real in the exchange.
This type of oneness has been cheapened by the sexualization of society, but never the less, the sexual union was designed by the creator to be the most intimate exchange of being with another. If the sexual union has been cheapened and spoiled so dramatically, I wonder how the our other interactions have been affected and what that does to our sense of community.
As I've pondered these thoughts, the idea of image management has been heavy on my mind. What do I/we do to make sure the people think well of us? And how does that stiffle the community. Where is the vulnerabilty and openness when I'm managing my image to those around me? How am contributing to the safety of the community for others when I'm concerned about their thoughts of me? If there's to be give and take in community, have I made myself available for both the give and the take?
These thoughts have led me to determine that community can be a very scary place. To be vulnerable means that I loosen my grip on control and begin to flow with the Spirit. I'm at risk for many things, but one of the scariest is you. You might be disagreeable. You might be annoying. You might not be open to me. And the closer we get, the more subtle these things might be. What was endearing early in the relationshipe, becomes a source of irritation as the relationship grows. But even the scariest of things can be made familiar and even tender.
Author George MacDonald, spiritual mentor to C.S. Lewis stated that "The way to get to know someone is to forgive them." Forgiveness is the absolute most important element of community. It's the only way to truly be with someone. Forgiveness it the key to allowing myself to be vulnerable to you. It provides me with the security to be real and to interact with you in such a way that you too are free to be with me. True
forgiveness drives us deeper into spiritual community, but cannot be experienced
without another element that I will discuss in tomorrow's Contemplation towards
retreat.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
He Is (reprise)
He is in me, I find myself in Him.
He is filling me, I've found myself in Him.
I wandered away from Home, lost myself, but now I'm found in Him.
Original poetry © by Kiersten Adkins
He is filling me, I've found myself in Him.
I wandered away from Home, lost myself, but now I'm found in Him.
Original poetry © by Kiersten Adkins
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
He Is
He is larger than life, beyond my thoughts;
hard to define, but desires to be sought.
He is the very breath of my life and all I need.
To be His delight, thoughts of me now recede.
Original poetry © Kiersten M. Adkins
hard to define, but desires to be sought.
He is the very breath of my life and all I need.
To be His delight, thoughts of me now recede.
Original poetry © Kiersten M. Adkins
Monday, August 25, 2008
Infected with Perichoresis
I went to Colorado last week for a retreat/learning opportunity hosted by Larry Crabb and New Way Ministries and I was infected with something called Perichoresis. I think it might be contagious! This might be troubling to you, unless you knew that Perichoresis can not be found in any Medical Journals...it's theological term!
Now, I'm no theologian, and my explanation might drive the experts crazy, but the way I understand it, Perichoresis is the way the Trinity (Father, Son, & Holy Spirit) relate to each other. It's a term regarding their perfect relationship and further, their perfect community. It's the way they enjoy and regard themselves and they way they invite us to enjoy and regard them and each other.
Wikipedia does a nice job in giving an overarching interpretation of the word: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perichoresis. But I think that it's good to press in a bit and further explain that the key element in understanding what I'm talking about is the pouring out of the Holy Spirit, expressed as the absolute perfection of God's nature. As a believer (one who has seen the reality of my sin, found that the only way to be absolved is by the blood of Jesus, restored to relationship with God and received the Gift of the Holy Spirit by faith) the only way to relate meaningfully to my God and to my world is by catching this Perichoresis and experiencing God as He pours out His Spirit to me (often through others) and through me (often to others.)
It will take me years to unpack all that I learned last week. More than anything, I want to enter into relationship with God and others in the way Larry described it over and over again....it's like a dance. We've been invited to the party, and have moments here on earth to experience small tastes of the dance. I pray that I will be used for the glory of God as He gives you a taste of this glorious dance!
Now, I'm no theologian, and my explanation might drive the experts crazy, but the way I understand it, Perichoresis is the way the Trinity (Father, Son, & Holy Spirit) relate to each other. It's a term regarding their perfect relationship and further, their perfect community. It's the way they enjoy and regard themselves and they way they invite us to enjoy and regard them and each other.
Wikipedia does a nice job in giving an overarching interpretation of the word: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perichoresis. But I think that it's good to press in a bit and further explain that the key element in understanding what I'm talking about is the pouring out of the Holy Spirit, expressed as the absolute perfection of God's nature. As a believer (one who has seen the reality of my sin, found that the only way to be absolved is by the blood of Jesus, restored to relationship with God and received the Gift of the Holy Spirit by faith) the only way to relate meaningfully to my God and to my world is by catching this Perichoresis and experiencing God as He pours out His Spirit to me (often through others) and through me (often to others.)
It will take me years to unpack all that I learned last week. More than anything, I want to enter into relationship with God and others in the way Larry described it over and over again....it's like a dance. We've been invited to the party, and have moments here on earth to experience small tastes of the dance. I pray that I will be used for the glory of God as He gives you a taste of this glorious dance!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Psalm 143:8-10
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for I lift up my soul.
Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD,
for I hide myself in you.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good spirit lead me on level ground.
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for I lift up my soul.
Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD,
for I hide myself in you.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good spirit lead me on level ground.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Prayer of an Unknown Soldier
I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked God for health, that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy;
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life;
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am among men, most richly blessed.
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked God for health, that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy;
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life;
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am among men, most richly blessed.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Never too late
So long as you have breath,
It's never too late to say, "I'm sorry" or "I love you."
It's never too late to change your mind, even if you were absolutely certain that the choice you made was right.
It's never to late to start living out your destiny.
It's never to late to insist that you have value and worth in this world.
It's never to late to believe, hope, grow and change.
It's never to late to make connections.
So long as you have breath, it's just never too late!
It's never too late to say, "I'm sorry" or "I love you."
It's never too late to change your mind, even if you were absolutely certain that the choice you made was right.
It's never to late to start living out your destiny.
It's never to late to insist that you have value and worth in this world.
It's never to late to believe, hope, grow and change.
It's never to late to make connections.
So long as you have breath, it's just never too late!
Friday, February 01, 2008
Psalm 139 - the Message
A David Psalm
1-6 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.I'm an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I'm never out of your sight.
You know everything I'm going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can't take it all in!
7-12 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you're there!
If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings
to the far western horizon,
You'd find me in a minute—
you're already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I'm immersed in the light!"
It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.
13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.
17-22 Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!
God, I'll never comprehend them!
I couldn't even begin to count them—
any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
And you murderers—out of here!—
all the men and women who belittle you, God,
infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
See how I hate those who hate you, God,
see how I loathe all this godless arrogance;
I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.
Your enemies are my enemies!
23-24 Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life.
Thanks to BibleGateway.com for making the Word of God so accesible!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Like fire, words can either burn or warm
A written Prayer by Peter Marshall:
It is difficult not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. I need Thee, o Lord, for a curb on my tongue; when I am tempted to make carping criticisms and cruel judgments, keep me from speaking barbed words that hurt, and in which I find perverted satisfaction. Keep me from unkind words and from unkind silences. Restrain my judgments. Make my criticisms kind, generous and constructive. Make me sweet inside that I may be gentle with people, gentle in the things I say, kind in what I do. Create in me that warmth of mercy that shall enable others to find Thy strength for their weakness, They peace for their strife, Thy joy for their sorrow, They love for their hatred, Thy compassion for their weaknesses.
In thine own strong name, I pray. Amen.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Wisdom from Nehemiah
In the memoirs of Nehemiah, we find and interesting tidbit of wisdom to help us navigate the big decisions in life. You know, the ones where you wonder, "am I doing God's will?" I need to thank Pastor Robert Malone for sharing the vision of this wisdom - If you ever get a chance to interact with this great man of God, take it! You'll never be the same!
Nehemiah's account opens with some interesting comments that he's receiving from his "brothers." Remember, Israel in captivity. They can't move about like they once did! And these brothers, or kinsmen, are telling Nehemiah about the conditions of their hometown. Now this is relevant, because Nehemiah has an interestingly powerful servant job of being the cupbearer for the king of the country that now holds them captive.
So Nehemiah hears their story about the crumbling wall and the difficulties that are a daily reality for the those who weren't taken into captivity. And he remembers the goodness and faithfulness of God. And he pours his heart out to God about this troubling news. But prayer alone couldn't change the heaviness of his heart, which became evident to everyone around him, including the king that he worked for.
I'm thinking Nehemiah must have been a pretty good guy for the king to notice the change in his demeanor and then care enough to ask him about it. Not only was he good, he was also wise in recognizing his position. Both from understanding the value of humility AND from recognizing that he was a valued servant of the king. To understand position is a very valuable insight. For Nehemiah, it allowed him the courage to present this troubling situation to someone here on earth that actually had the resources to do something about it. Nehemiah was able to recognize that God was able to work through this king to accomplish His plans.
It was the faithfulness of a servant who recognized a God ordained opportunity. In that process of sorting out God's will for the situation, Nehemiah asked for some things that would be critical to completely address the situation. And He asked shamelessly and specifically.
Pastor Malone boiled the sum of Nehemiah's requests down to four simple points that we all can apply:
Nehemiah's account opens with some interesting comments that he's receiving from his "brothers." Remember, Israel in captivity. They can't move about like they once did! And these brothers, or kinsmen, are telling Nehemiah about the conditions of their hometown. Now this is relevant, because Nehemiah has an interestingly powerful servant job of being the cupbearer for the king of the country that now holds them captive.
So Nehemiah hears their story about the crumbling wall and the difficulties that are a daily reality for the those who weren't taken into captivity. And he remembers the goodness and faithfulness of God. And he pours his heart out to God about this troubling news. But prayer alone couldn't change the heaviness of his heart, which became evident to everyone around him, including the king that he worked for.
I'm thinking Nehemiah must have been a pretty good guy for the king to notice the change in his demeanor and then care enough to ask him about it. Not only was he good, he was also wise in recognizing his position. Both from understanding the value of humility AND from recognizing that he was a valued servant of the king. To understand position is a very valuable insight. For Nehemiah, it allowed him the courage to present this troubling situation to someone here on earth that actually had the resources to do something about it. Nehemiah was able to recognize that God was able to work through this king to accomplish His plans.
It was the faithfulness of a servant who recognized a God ordained opportunity. In that process of sorting out God's will for the situation, Nehemiah asked for some things that would be critical to completely address the situation. And He asked shamelessly and specifically.
Pastor Malone boiled the sum of Nehemiah's requests down to four simple points that we all can apply:
- First, Nehemiah asked for permission. He didn't just assume that what was troubling him would be troubling to the king. He recognized his servant position, and placed his entire request into the context of asking for permission.
- Next, Nehemiah asked for passage. Kind of like us asking for time off from work. Only servants didn't typically get vacations - so this request would've been rather out of the ordinary and in no way congruent with the work he typically did.
- Then, knowing that he served a powerful king, Nehemiah asked the king to provide protections. The trip he was to make would be across land that was owned by someone else. If Nehemiah, a slave servant, was representing himself on the journey he would never make it past the first inquiry. Not to mention the powerful enemies that desired to keep Jerusalem in ruins would never tolerate this single man to accomplish his mission. But with the authority of the entire Babylonian kingdom...he stood a pretty good chance of at least arriving in one piece.
- Finally, with complete confidence, he asks for provision. And not just a little food for the journey, but he asked the king of the country that held his people in captivity for everything he need to rebuild the wall of the major city of their homeland. That's almost comical if you think about it!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Why a caterpillar?
Some might wonder why I would wander down the the wonderings of a caterpillar. But think about it, fellow followers!
When you consider the transformation of the Christian life, why not look to nature for some clues. And what complete transformation in nature do we look on with more wonder that the metamorphosis of the caterpillar?
The one thing that has struck me the most unique, as I've wandered down the wonderings, is that fact that the caterpillar only does what is natural to him. It's not as if there's a choice. We, on the other hand, are key players in our transformation. Our GIANT sized will must be surrendered and participate in the process - or not. Too often, for me, it's not.
I pray that wherever you are in your transformation process that you will consider the wonder of the wanderings. That you will be in awe of the process that follows surrendering your will! And when you get a glimpse of those "completed" parts, that you will jump for joy at the beauty He has created and the adventure that lays before you! Happy Transformation to you!
When you consider the transformation of the Christian life, why not look to nature for some clues. And what complete transformation in nature do we look on with more wonder that the metamorphosis of the caterpillar?
The one thing that has struck me the most unique, as I've wandered down the wonderings, is that fact that the caterpillar only does what is natural to him. It's not as if there's a choice. We, on the other hand, are key players in our transformation. Our GIANT sized will must be surrendered and participate in the process - or not. Too often, for me, it's not.
I pray that wherever you are in your transformation process that you will consider the wonder of the wanderings. That you will be in awe of the process that follows surrendering your will! And when you get a glimpse of those "completed" parts, that you will jump for joy at the beauty He has created and the adventure that lays before you! Happy Transformation to you!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Confessions of a caterpiller
I've crawled on my belly for the better part of my memory. Getting from leaf to leaf with the series of legs strategically placed on the underside of my long, smooth belly. It's interesting. I've always had this feeling that I was made for something more grand.
Each time I sat on the stem of of a leaf, consuming it's foliage and felt the wind catch the branches of the tree, there was a certain exhilaration. I would hold on with all my might, but there was something in my spirit that told me, one day I would let go.
It felt like my existence of consuming leaves would go on forever. I was actually growing quite weary with the taste and texture of my woody, green sustenance. And yet my appetite grew. It was like I couldn't get enough. Day after day I consumed and consumed the same diet, wishing for some variety. As I ate, my skin grew tight around me. I had a sense, each time I shed it, that I was losing something important, and yet I felt it necessary to let go.
One day I felt very attached to one of the leaf stems I had been munching on. Kind of frightened that if I let go, I wouldn't survive. It was like my body was trying to tell me something. And as I hung on for dear life, I felt myself change again, but this time I wasn't letting go. This time I was hanging on. Things really got scary then!
From the tip of my abdomen to the top of my head, my body was consuming itself. And I was getting tired. I wondered if I was about to die, but my heart didn't believe that this was the end.
I think I slept for a really long time. Once I sort of roused and it felt very cold, and I didn't feel like myself. It was sort of like being turned inside out. But I was too tired to care.
Then one day I woke up with a sense of urgency. A strong expectation was in my spirit. The darkness that had surrounded me was consumed with light. My new home was still a very tight fit, and I didn't feel all my feet anymore. I thought it would be good to wiggle a bit. Just to get things moving again. I still didn't feel my feet, but there something heavy attached to my back.
With just a few wiggles, I was able to break free from my claustrophobic home. But I wasn't feeling any better. Honestly I was scared! How would I get around if I can't feel my feet? And the world was looking a lot different! Something on my head kept getting in my way. Then I felt my feet. But those weren't the same feet! Those legs were a lot longer and their fewer of them!
What had happened to me? I was very hungry, but not for leaves. I felt like I wanted to sip something. And that thing on my back. It was getting lighter, but it kept moving and tipping my balance. Then my body caught a breeze and remembered that old familiar feeling.
I wondered what would happen if I just let go. If I found a way to jump into the wind. I was feeling lighter and my spirit begged for adventure and so I did it! Some how, almost effortlessly I was floating among the leaves that used to be my home. I saw some lovely colors and went to see if they would be my friend.
As I landed near a lovely scent with a coat of bright red, I caught a glimpse of her reflection in a window. Next to her sat the most beautiful butterfly I had ever seen. He was quite majestic with deep colors and creative veining. But I didn't see me. I blinked and nodded. But the only movement that occurred was the bending of the butterfly. Just as I started to turn around, I heard my scented friend whisper, "It's you dear! Aren't you lovely?"
And with that, I jumped with joy and found my wings. I flew off with great anticipation for my life was complete. My real adventure was just beginning!
Each time I sat on the stem of of a leaf, consuming it's foliage and felt the wind catch the branches of the tree, there was a certain exhilaration. I would hold on with all my might, but there was something in my spirit that told me, one day I would let go.
It felt like my existence of consuming leaves would go on forever. I was actually growing quite weary with the taste and texture of my woody, green sustenance. And yet my appetite grew. It was like I couldn't get enough. Day after day I consumed and consumed the same diet, wishing for some variety. As I ate, my skin grew tight around me. I had a sense, each time I shed it, that I was losing something important, and yet I felt it necessary to let go.
One day I felt very attached to one of the leaf stems I had been munching on. Kind of frightened that if I let go, I wouldn't survive. It was like my body was trying to tell me something. And as I hung on for dear life, I felt myself change again, but this time I wasn't letting go. This time I was hanging on. Things really got scary then!
From the tip of my abdomen to the top of my head, my body was consuming itself. And I was getting tired. I wondered if I was about to die, but my heart didn't believe that this was the end.
I think I slept for a really long time. Once I sort of roused and it felt very cold, and I didn't feel like myself. It was sort of like being turned inside out. But I was too tired to care.
Then one day I woke up with a sense of urgency. A strong expectation was in my spirit. The darkness that had surrounded me was consumed with light. My new home was still a very tight fit, and I didn't feel all my feet anymore. I thought it would be good to wiggle a bit. Just to get things moving again. I still didn't feel my feet, but there something heavy attached to my back.
With just a few wiggles, I was able to break free from my claustrophobic home. But I wasn't feeling any better. Honestly I was scared! How would I get around if I can't feel my feet? And the world was looking a lot different! Something on my head kept getting in my way. Then I felt my feet. But those weren't the same feet! Those legs were a lot longer and their fewer of them!
What had happened to me? I was very hungry, but not for leaves. I felt like I wanted to sip something. And that thing on my back. It was getting lighter, but it kept moving and tipping my balance. Then my body caught a breeze and remembered that old familiar feeling.
I wondered what would happen if I just let go. If I found a way to jump into the wind. I was feeling lighter and my spirit begged for adventure and so I did it! Some how, almost effortlessly I was floating among the leaves that used to be my home. I saw some lovely colors and went to see if they would be my friend.
As I landed near a lovely scent with a coat of bright red, I caught a glimpse of her reflection in a window. Next to her sat the most beautiful butterfly I had ever seen. He was quite majestic with deep colors and creative veining. But I didn't see me. I blinked and nodded. But the only movement that occurred was the bending of the butterfly. Just as I started to turn around, I heard my scented friend whisper, "It's you dear! Aren't you lovely?"
And with that, I jumped with joy and found my wings. I flew off with great anticipation for my life was complete. My real adventure was just beginning!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
hopes and goals
Some are motivated by the setting of resolutions. I've never found that to be a helpful tactic for myself. What I do find helpful is setting my goals down in some kind of concrete fashion and giving time limits to them - so this is my concrete place!
In the year of 2008, I want to accomplish the following goals with my time:
In the year of 2008, I want to accomplish the following goals with my time:
- Finish the SoulCare online class that I started in 2007
- Read the 5 books recently acquired
- Attend a session at the School of Spiritual Discipline in Colorado
- Put meat on the bones of the idea I have for a book
- Stay committed to working from a calendar - to create a habit
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Not I, but Christ
I had an interesting conversation with a dear friend about a burdensome situation that she's watched me navigate for a little more than 3 years. Having honest feedback isn't always the most desirable position to be in, but when you're in the position to receive it in love, it cushions any sting. In the past, I've found her feedback to be both honest and loving. So as she candidly shared from her wisdom - she made a statement that stuck with me, and I paraphrase, "you may have been less than perfect in the execution of your position, but you've always sought God with your heart for your responses to [this trial]." And I realized, quite suddenly, that this is exactly what it means to live in light of Gal. 2:20. Here's how it reads from the Message translation:
That reminds me of another tidbit of wisdom I received while participating in a Sunday School class with Mark Keltner. He said, "we want others to judge us by our intentions, but we often judge others by their actions." Isn't it true spiritual maturity (in Christ) when there's almost no distance between our intentions and our actions?
May there be less and less of me that you see!
What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.It's kind of refreshing to know that the obligation for perfection has been met. I don't have to "do it all right," which leads to self-righteousness. I am free to pursue Christ in all things and to glory in His wondrous gift! Not that I relish or find much pleasure in these current difficulties, but to know that they are purposeful and to hear that the not so casual observer can connect the dots between the desire of my heart (pleasing God) and the actual actions that make their way from my being.
That reminds me of another tidbit of wisdom I received while participating in a Sunday School class with Mark Keltner. He said, "we want others to judge us by our intentions, but we often judge others by their actions." Isn't it true spiritual maturity (in Christ) when there's almost no distance between our intentions and our actions?
May there be less and less of me that you see!
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