Anticipation: Reflections on the Word of 2012

Are you old enough to remember the classic television commercial for Heintz Ketchup?  I can still hear Carly Simon's smooth voice singing, “Anticipation, anticipay-yay-tion is making me wait. It’s keeping me way-yay-ay-ay-it-ing.”

It’s a good point, a difficult truth, really. Anticipation and waiting are inseparable, and sometimes insufferable, concepts. So what was I to learn of it in 2012? It’s not like waiting was a new concept to me. How would added anticipation contribute to the shaping of my soul?

According to dictionary.com, an•tic•i•pa•tion can be defined as “expectation or hope.” How fitting? A definition that works with my previous understanding!

Anticipation and faith must be first cousins. You’ve heard Paul’s description of faith in Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (NKJV). Though anticipation’s relationship to waiting is less patient than faith’s. In the waiting place, faith has a solid belief, but anticipation moves beyond belief. It has a more emotional component at its core. Faith relies on substance. Anticipation engages imagination.

I found myself in another waiting place in 2012. Left to wonder. Trying to interpret my reality. It’s here that I discovered anticipation as a tool to reveal me.

The anticipation that engages imagination, stirs hope. It’s the stirring that makes the heart vulnerable.  

When the selfish heart is stirred, it demands. “Give me what I think I should have!” The self-centered heart is a bit more polite, it merely expects. “You said it would be [this way or that]…” However, the selfless heart is open to wonder with giddy, childlike curiosity. “I can’t wait to see what happens next.”

Why does this revelation matter? Since anticipation stirs hope, it’s important to remember that hope is the vehicle by which grace is delivered. Hope is the energy that makes grace possible. So when anticipation reveals the heart, it also reveals its capacity to deliver grace. What anticipation reveals in the heart determines how well we move with the unforced rhythms of grace.

So what do we do with what we know? The temptation to simply quit hoping is strongest when my heart is revealed as selfish or self-centered. Why bother if it isn’t going to turn out like I want or expect? Truthfully, it’s simply another one of my attempts at control. And control is self-protecting. I have to let anticipation move me, allowing it to find release.

Ultimately, selfless anticipation imagines the existence of infinite possibilities. It serves as inspiration to make the next step. Offering hope when it’s easier to abandon. Giving grace when it’s easier to judge. Knowing that there is something meaningful in the wait, no matter how long it takes. 

There's Something about Mary

I've been thinking about this mysterious woman that many have speculated about. Some say she was the woman caught in adultery and some have linked her to a public moment of a generous anointing of Jesus feet and still others note that she may well have been a woman who was recognized at the level of a disciple in the days that Jesus lived and ministered on the earth.

I don't know that any of us can say for sure who she was, what she did, or the actual affects her life had on the development of the Church. Too much has been lost in the translation of history to have any certain answers. What I have come to ponder is her apparent dedication to the truth, the truth she recognized in the life and message of Jesus.

Some scholars, theologians and preachers have focused incessantly on the possibility of her life of prostitution. Sadly, they link the generous anointing to the perceived forgiveness she was given when the Pharisees brought her to Jesus in an attempt to justify stoning her. Jesus redirected the "justice posse" with a simple statement, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her" (John 8:7). I heard very few messages from the pulpit that pause to ponder this section of the passage authentically. Typically there's a rush of points to get to the fact that Jesus let the woman go with a simple statement of the facts, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you? Neither do I. Go and sin no more."

Certainly we want to connect with the free grace of forgiveness that was demonstrated there. However, I think there is so much more and we miss it when we rush the passage. Jesus demonstrated something deeply powerful in his response. He recognized her value. Aside from the accusations, aside from the breaking of the religious law, aside from the all the things that only the heart of God could've known, He saw, above all else, her value. And in seeing her and her value, the path was laid for her to begin to see it too.

That takes me to the anointing scene found later in the Gospel of John. A woman, that tradition holds as Mary Magdalene, is found pouring expensive perfume on Jesus' feet. I can't help but stop and wonder about the motivation. What lead to that point? Why is this story included in the Gospel's at all? And then I think about how much it reflects the value that Jesus had once recognized in Mary. The story of Mary's generous gift demonstrates the almost innate response that one has when they come to realize how much they are valued.

So then, I have to wonder how many us actually understand that the forgiveness and grace we are offered through Christ stems from how much we are valued. And further, what is our motivation for our giving (be it financial or otherwise)? Have we connected as deeply and thoroughly with the way God sees us that we have found the innate response that flows with generosity? Not simply because we realize how much we have been forgiven, but even more because we know the reality of our value. Does the motivation of our faith stem from the obligation of receiving forgiveness, or do our lives reflect a deeper understanding?

Basking

For some unexplained reason I'm more than a tiny bit overwhelmed tonight with the amazing grace that God so lavishly offers. It's a strange profound understanding of faithfulness that crosses the boundaries of the limited logic that I am constrained with. So often I've heard individuals of the Christian persuasion make confident statements about the faithfulness of God. Sometimes those statements can come across trite or shallow because the one making the statement is linking them to a perceived blessing. I appreciate the blessings of God as much as the next person. However, tonight I am struck - not so much with the essence of what He gives - but more with the essence of who He is.

Those who have the opportunity to listen to me process will often hear me link things to the "unforced rhythms of grace," an unnerving concept tucked at the back of Matthew 11 in The Message. Like an unimaginable dance, these unforced rhythms of grace seem to have captured me in a way that takes my breath away and leaves my heart swelling with delight and a desire that will only be fulfilled in eternity. There is a strange excitement that fills my heart. Something comparable to what I think it might feel like to win a big lottery - only this gift of grace could never be measured to the clear monetary limits of this comparison. Nevertheless, the only thing I can compare it to is this tangible opportunity that would relieve a lot of real life burdens.

Is this one of the scenic overlooks on this journey? Does this sweeten those bitter days of struggle? I don't know. All I can say is that I'm grateful for the opportunity to be here and to enjoy the delight of these moments. If I won the lottery, I know I would share it with you...this is so much better. I hope that as you experience the unforced rhythms of grace that you will come to experience God for who He really is.